


generic title

by dashieundomiel



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Satire, its a joke, technically its enjolras/grantaire but im not mean enough to tag that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-13 05:36:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18934537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dashieundomiel/pseuds/dashieundomiel
Summary: generic summary





	generic title

   Grantaire sighed as he finished painting his latest masterpiece of a beautiful young twink. He carefully placed it next to another painting of the same twink on the shrine at the foot of his bed that took up half the room. The room was very dark because the shrine blocked the window, but that was okay because Enjolras _was_ his sun. His Apollo. He had loved him from the moment he set his limpid blue eyes on him. Even though Enjolras constantly rejected him and called him a disgusting little toad, Grantaire knew he would love him until the day he died. 

It was almost time for him to go to the Les Amis meeting, so he put on an olive green t-shirt, Aeropostale skinny jeans and his favorite worn grey beanie. Then he put on his sketchbook in his Kanken backpack and bicycled to the Cafe Musain. 

  At the Musain, Enjolras and his lieutenants were making posters for a rally they were holding next week. Jehan was putting little cactus stickers on the posters and Courfeyrac was dumping rainbow glitter that matched his rainbow shirt on them. Grantaire personally thought that the color scheme left a lot to be desired, but he didn’t say anything because he didn’t care. Then Enjolras majestically climbed on a table and gave an inspiring speech about Iran, the FCC, and how Finding Dory (2016) was bourgeoisie scum. No eye in the room was dry. Jehan starting belting out “Pretty Hurts” out of sheer emotion. The only person who didn’t clap was Grantaire. He was bitter because he knew that Enjolras would never love him and also because he thought Finding Dory was a pretty good movie and he cried when little Dory lost her parents. “Hey, Enjolras, you don’t think you’re actually going to accomplish anything in your life ever, right?” Grantaire said intelligently. “The world is a horrible place and you can’t change it. Everything you’re doing here is pointless.” 

Enjolras looked him directly in the eye. “Grantaire, I know you have different opinions from the rest of us but I’d really appreciate it if you stopped trying to ruin our morale.” 

Grantaire immediately burst into tears and ran from the cafe. 

“That was too harsh,” said Combeferre. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Enjolras sighed. 

“Hey guys, look at this,” Courfeyrac called. Grantaire had left his sketchbook on the table and Courfeyrac was looking through it because he was a nosy little bitch. Enjolras and Combeferre went to go look because they were also nosy little bitches. The sketchbook was full of drawings of Enjolras in various erotic poses. 

“Wow, I guess he really loves you,” said Combeferre. 

Enjolras stared at a picture of him sucking a disembodied dick and realized how much he loved Grantaire. He simply couldn’t live without him a single day more. “I’m going to find him and tell him how I feel,” he declared. His best friends cheered and Courfeyrac threw some celebratory glitter at him. Enjolras put on his red coat and went off to search for Grantaire. 

 

Meanwhile, Grantaire was at his best friend Eponine’s apartment eating a gallon tub of neopolitan ice cream, watching The Office reruns and sobbing uncontrollably. 

“I’ll go kidnap him and flay the skin from his body for hurting you,” Éponine offered. 

Grantaire looked into her eyes and saw that she was serious. “No, you don’t understand,” he moaned. “His skin is too hot. He’s hotter than the fucking sun.” 

“The sun is just a big ball of gas,” said Éponine. 

“But it is also a star...that blinds you if you stare at it. Fortunately I love the pain,” said Grantaire poetically. 

“Is that why you stared at the eclipse without glasses?”

“Yeah. For the aesthetic.”

“Wow, that’s hardcore,” said Éponine admiringly. 

“I know,” said Grantaire smugly. 

There was a knock at the door. Grantaire opened it. It was Enjolras. Also they magically teleported to Grantaire’s apartment and Éponine disappeared because this author is lazy. 

“Grantaire...” Enjolras trailed off, not knowing what to say. Then he saw the massive shrine on the opposite wall. “Wow. That’s kind of creepy.” 

Grantaire stared at the floor awkwardly. 

“But that’s okay. I’m into the stalker thing,” Enjolras reassured him. 

Grantaire couldn’t believe his ears. Could if be?”

“I saw your sketchbook. Wanna act it out?” Enjolras asked. 

“Yes!” Grantaire cried happily. 

They Fucked. 

       The end 🅱️lease like and subscribe 

**Author's Note:**

> you’re welcome


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